It's been a month since the start of 2013! Honestly, it felt like I was planning for my year and right now everything just rush right in! God has been great. He always is! This year, just want to be thankful for all that He has provided! It's indeed God's Grace that I'm here today. Was just planning how I wanted this post to be structured like but I just stumbled upon our church website and was deeply blessed by so many great testimonies and not forgetting my last year trip to East Timor. Suddenly, I was reminded of God's goodness and providence for everyone. A gush of memories just flowed through my mind. The simplicity and simple faith in trusting God's providence is so simple yet so amazing. Nobody could every comprehend that beautiful plan He has for us.
Just this evening, I was feeling really stressed up and vexed over my general biology lab. Coming from a arts background, it's terrible. Even though I took O level biology, it doesn't seemed to aid me in my poor lab performance. I went back feeling dejected and all, thinking maybe I should really drop this module and all. Being both mentally and physically stressed, I went back feeling even more worthless and stupid that I wasn't able to solve such simple questions. All this are so every ready to potentially trigger my you-are-such-a-loser thing in me. Spiraling into you are such a loser in NUS, who cannot do anything, who fails in everything who ...
Yet, God just showed me how it was so easy to be satisfied in Him. Constantly trying to fulfill the world's standard of success, forgetting how His promises are so true and real. When I close my eyes, I can still feel the breeze of East Timor, the smiles of the children, the breathtaking views, innocence of the people. It's like heaven. People may be stripped of all materials possessions but they gain so much in return. Not promoting that ignorance is bliss, but just the pure form of humanity is so touching. How much can one actually say they are so not caught up with life and being distracted from million stuff? I believe that the people at East Timor are really at their purest, and honestly, that form of happiness cannot ever be found in anyone of us in Singapore.
Maybe indeed, it is hard to comprehend such pure form of happiness when we are here, but what we can do is to learn that no matter how terrible your situation may be... God is ever so lasting. I just see how He provides enough for the people there, and I want them to be applicable in my life here in Singapore. It may be true that I'm not adequate enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not optimistic enough and all, but God still loves me as much as He love the rest. He has given me more than I have asked for, and there isn't a day I go off without wanting to lose this precious salvation I have.
Thought for the month:
1. I was led to believe that something must be done. Spreading God's love is now on my priority because there is not much time left. I do not want to go off knowing that all my friends and families have been saved. This means being more proactive in daily devotions, praying for friends, and connecting with them genuinely!
2. This month honestly felt like a bullet train. I'm 21 sooooooon. It does scare me how time flies without waiting and each moment, I wonder if I had done enough to live the day to the fullest. Other than studying really hard, I want to learn to stay true to my own calling. No losing of God's vision for me.
3. Compassion for the lost. Recently, I have been praying, asking, seeking the Lord to give me a new compassion. Don't really know why but it feels quite like I'm losing the hope and love for the oppressed, lost and poor. Believing God for a new heart to love again.
4. Thoughts for baptism.
