25/10/2012 I can't deny how time flies.

Looking at how time pass by each day just like... it makes me even want to treasure each moment more than ever. Sometimes, exams and all just makes people lose track of all these beautiful, precious time that could be spent on loved ones. Sometimes I look back and I realized how all my time was spent on meaningless studying,... not exactly meaningless but I've could have planned my way to spend more time with my families or friends than on revisions. Speaking of all these... I'm thankful for this day that I am here at home. (K, I skipped a lecture.) I really hate myself for skipping lessons... but I always cannot wake up! :'(
Exams are really coming! I'm having extreme mixed feelings inside me. I really hope to go through all these ASAP. And when I can sleep 20 hours a day... Such a mundane post.

K, publish some nice photos.

My last weekend was pretty much packed. Friday, I was so busy preparing photos and rehearsal, hardly had any time to revise! During Saturday, we all had to wake up super early to go for our prayer tower! Thank God for His blessings that made the whole procedure so smooth and I mean there bound to have glitches but overall it was a great one! After prayer tower, had to rush off to TCT for camp briefing and all... followed by my outing to Sentosa with the Best Buddies people. It was pretty much enjoyable. There wasn't much pressure to make friends, everybody was just nice and all! So Thankful, and I met my buddy! Well... she wasn't exactly what I've thought to be... but will try my best to accommodate and have fun! Anyway, it was a super stormy day and was drenched and all.

Last Sunday, was the cell closure. I would say it's a heartwarming gathering. Those that stayed through with us thick and thin were all there. I'm thankful for them. We went through so much... and I once thought having a super big cell would be cool and all but I keep back my words. Having a small group like this is so much more heartwarming! We love each other, and we don't need to be so uptight and sensitive about how everyone else is feeling. Hope to see them more often! :)

17/10/2012 Thoughts That Last

In my place, in my place

Were lines that I couldn't change

I was lost, oh yeah 

I was lost, I was lost

Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed

I was lost, oh yeah 

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

Yeah, how long must you pay for it?

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

For it...

I was scared, I was scared

Tired and under prepared

But I'll wait for it 

If you go, if you go

And leave me down here on my own

Then I'll wait for you 

Suddenly, this song speaks a lot to me. The lyrics just boomed and keep repeating itself in my mind. These few days, I'm really in a indescribable feeling. First of all, it's this feeling of losing myself. It really felt as if I lost everything and I'm back at square one again. I get this feeling a lot when I am extremely sad. It's as if I have gone down so deep, so far fetched that I cannot climb out of the pit anymore. It's felt as if I cannot go back to who I was yesterday. Sometimes when I get so depressed, I just sink into this deep sleep, wake up feeling like I lost my memory. Far too painful to be retrieved memory. Yet it has this characteristics of me being embraced. I feel so much. Some places and some nice memories and feelings just keep popping up, but I can only reach for them like the wind, sweeping through my fingers, slipping away as I watch it fades. Some people can only travel thus far. Nothing really lasts forever. I used to rely so much on people and etc... and now they just leave me one by one. Actually, I don't really know how I can carry on... this life just takes me by surprise. Even tears can't express how I'm feeling inside. All these changes are so big that I don't even know how to meet them. God, I'm so scared. Can you help me find myself back? I don't know where to start or end, it's so ... out of touch. I feel my soul getting detached from my body. The people that used to make me happy ain't there anymore. I feel like I'm going through a lot that I cannot understand.

16/10/2012 Let the Sun never dies

14/10/2012 I think I need a goal.

Once again, here comes the depressed girl. I know... it's like I'm forever feeling I'm depressed and all. I can't help but to feel sad... Often, it just struck me that I'm really lonely and everything. Just really, hating this feeling and I do not want it to override my own life, nor do I want it to take control of my life. Really must learn to start to be happier and to plan well. What makes it worst is that I'm SICK! Down with terrible flu and etc... Life is really horrible. I don't even want to be on social media anymore. It makes me sick. Everything makes me sick. I have to meet Lily to explain everything to her. It makes me even more discouraged. Life is already so discouraging. I thought year 2 would be better but, hell no.