21/06/2014 How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

How do we go about this? There are countless, boring posts I have posted about the meaning of life and how I'm on a constant search about all these meaningless pursuit of understanding my own existence on this earth. When people lost that essence of why they are living and what they are living for... death is seemingly a most rationale choice. When I die, I leave behind nothing but broken hearts for people around me (probably my parents). I have no idea why I am here. I feel so empty. I feel that I am just a good-for-nothing. People can tell you everything... but they cannot make you change how you feel about yourself. Many times I have been challenged, I wished I was stronger, I wished I was more courageous. I wished I could overcome all these negativity. Am I really that bad? Self-doubt and criticisms are the worst enemy of hope. They kills. Even shopping become boring for me. Growing to become so old and understanding the dark side of life and questioning my self, my faith. It's like the world keep tumbling down. Do I even have anything, a small tiny seed of hope for me to believe in? Sometimes, I'm not afraid of dying. It feels like no hope to live in nor do I see myself long enough on this earth to so many sufferings, countless of heartbreaks. Used to believe maybe I can even have hope of finding a good husband and someone to lean in... each day... my hope is fading away and maybe I could just leave without finding someone that finds me worthy. I think I have lived long enough to know this life is terrible... Maybe I could just leave without working.

01/06/2014 JUNE.XX

Hello, June! It's amazing how time flies and I'm 3 weeks into my internship. I have been experiencing so much, both in my personal life and work life. It is hard to balance between both but I am learning. Time management is still an issue, but I acknowledge that I am still trying and not giving up. Recently, I got a chance to talk to one of my colleague who challenged me and sorta counselled me in my personal life. I am still trying to make sense of everything in my life, especially given that I have to make a choice in a few weeks time. It scares me sometimes to accept that I am probably gonna be in another phase of my life and I am certainly not psychologically prepared. What I've gotten through is I have commitment issue and I am afraid of the future. For some inner psychological reason, I do agree to some extent that these are one of my fears. Life is all about "waddling through murky water". I keep looking back at all the times where things are safe and comfortable. I can't seemed to live in the present.

01/06/2014 Hello June/Habitat Cafe

Habitat Cafe

It's June and off to a good start... even though it gives me jitters knowing there's work tomorrow. Finally tried Habitat Cafe after it has been around for so long! Ordered the truffle fries which was crispy and tasty. The portion was generous and pretty worth it ($8)! Their Eggs Tomato Relish ($15) is fulfilling. The texture of the rummy eggs mixed with the goodness of tomatoes, baby spinach and bacon was a perfect match! Bread were also toasted to perfect crisp. I felt it was better to share this with friends since you'll feel a little full towards the third bread. Next, we ordered the cappuccino ($4.90) and chocolate ($4.90). The coffee art is pretty impressive. :) The overall ambiance was great and perfect to chill whether weekday or weekends. Furthermore, there is no GST or service charge which is a great news! I would say the standard and quality of food is justifiable for its price.  

P.S: I am not a food blogger. Just sharing what I've eaten.