26/04/2013 每当这个时候，我都会如此的担心，害怕，讨厌自己。

有时候失败了，我每次告诉自己要站起来。但是来到了大学，并不是说要站就站，而是有很多的阻碍。也许吧，长大以后，你会开始深思，别人对你的看法，或许自己也开始对自己自暴自弃，觉得自己很没有用。走到那么远，来到这里，仿佛在终点放弃自己。

25/04/2013 *Sigh*

Nobody understands how it feels like.

18/04/2013 Where is the motivation?

Every school term passed scarily fast... Not even a blink of an eye can describe how I feel. I feel like I've let each term off too easily. Once again, disappointed. I told myself to be hardworking and all. It really ain't easy when everything work against you. Losing precious relationship. Emotionally unstable. I've been really emotional and unstable this semester. Some things are really hard to explain and in life, things happen for a reason. Probably they are dictated by God to happen for a reason. The process is painful but inevitable. What more can I say? Well, at times, it feels like I cannot love again anymore. Maybe, it's for the better. I trust the Holy Spirit. This calls for extreme measures. Sometimes, I wished I can confide in someone about all these. Loud sigh. Forget it, I shall move on from here. 

无奈的情绪，其实面对该来的也不迟。不明白的，就让它去吧。有时候，我好担心，担心会沦落到自己的情感里，纠结纠缠，久久无法平息自己的意识。看着自己空窗那么久，也会对自己心存怀疑，感觉自己是否不够好，个性是否很差。其实长大了，自己的灵魂却越来越狭窄。心灵应该是美丽而宽阔的。我却感觉自己的心灵在成长时，不小心被别人的冷言冷语，以及人世间的残酷给冻结。尤其是来自自己亲爱的友人所带来的伤害，痛的成分始终无法形容。原来从不说的怨恨只会给对方带来那么多长年累计的裂痕，我越来越害怕相信人，我也无法轻易的去爱人。更重要的是我连自己都无法疼爱自己，自己真的也许不值得有人珍惜。想找回从前温柔，纯洁的那一个我。我能找回从前的爱吗？

葉子是不會飛翔的翅膀

翅膀是落在天上的葉子

天堂原來應該不是妄想

只是我早已經遺忘

當初怎麼開始飛翔

孤單是一個人的狂歡

狂歡是一群人的孤單

愛情原來的開始是陪伴

但我也漸漸地遺忘

當時是怎樣有人陪伴

我一個人吃飯旅行到處走走停停

也一個人看書寫信自己對話談心

只是心又飄到了哪裏

就連自己看也看不清

我想我不僅僅是失去你

我一個人吃飯旅行到處走走停停

也一個人看書寫信自己對話談心

只是心又飄到了哪裏

就連自己看也看不清

我想我不僅僅是失去你

06/04/2013 Setbacks in life

God is indeed wonderful. Many times I have failed, but yet He never fails to rise up and pick me up from the depths. 

Just as Psalm 18:16-17 

16          He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

    he drew me out of deep waters.

¹⁷ 

He rescued me from my powerful enemy,

    from my foes, who were too strong for me.

Just as something like this have occurred, I believe God has something in stored for me. It's never His plan to hurt me, or let me be depressed. It has all been done on the cross. Never doubt His love because He is great. Eternal life is waiting for us, which great noble men did not fail in life. Failure is such common and God's love covers everything. I thank Him everyday for His grace in my life. I know I can never do it without Him.