13/05/2013 First Day of Placement

So I'm writing this during midnight! Just can't get to sleep! Unsure of what to expect and etc... but I'm definitely looking forward to working. Having in mind that I can actually get to experience real life situation instead of studying. That's one thing I love about social work, practical. It has been my dream to have first hand experience instead of studying. To make it till university is something I'm really proud of. Then again, I'm doing so badly in university that sometimes, I feel so inferior. Somehow, I made it through all the way to the dreams of every Singaporean but then, I fail myself. I guess, I just have to accept that not everybody can excel in studying. I can't deny, I still am, very disappointed with myself. And the saddest part, I cannot accept myself. Because of this... it's somehow hindering me from going further. I am constantly being filled with jealousy, hatred, anger, disappointment and so many negative emotions in me. I just feel so distance from everyone. I don't know when but I just stop trusting everyone. Maybe it's just myself. Sad, cooped up in a shell. I used to trust a friend a lot, but I really forgot when or how... well, I guess it's either time or effort is playing the devil. Some things that she did somehow made me feel really small sometimes, and I guess it's pointless to harp on it, but it snowballed, and this is the result. 

Here I am waiting, 

I’ll have to leave soon, 

why am I holdin’ on

We knew this day would come, 

we knew it all along

How did it come so fast

This is our last night, 

but it’s late and 

I’m tryin’ not to sleep

‘Cuz I know, 

when I wake I will have to slip away

07/05/2013 I really don't know what to do with myself anymore.

:'(

我 要過多久 才能好呢

有好多辛苦路得走

走到口渴 眼淚乾了 人會領悟些什麼

回憶是記者 它會挖出不為人知的寂寞

每一個人的以前

住在心裡 像事後的孤兒

07/05/2013 Last Lap/ I've got a new PUP!

Yes! I have got a pup but sadly... I'm not really close with her. In face, I'm quite scared of her! Because her play bites are mad crazy! She draws blood even when she's this young... Furthermore, she bites when people pet her! We are still trying to train her whenever we can but due to exams and all... we have been delaying! Hopefully, Teddy will learn to be gentler! :'(

01/05/2013 You'll never understand.

有些事情你永远都不会懂。我到底是这么了？好不像从前的我，难道我失去了目标，还是我已经不在为了什么而活。我只是忘了开心是什么，伤心是什么。不在为了自己而开心的活着，仿佛没有什么值得而活。