In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?
For it...
I was scared, I was scared
Tired and under prepared
But I'll wait for it
If you go, if you go
And leave me down here on my own
Then I'll wait for you
Suddenly, this song speaks a lot to me. The lyrics just boomed and keep repeating itself in my mind. These few days, I'm really in a indescribable feeling. First of all, it's this feeling of losing myself. It really felt as if I lost everything and I'm back at square one again. I get this feeling a lot when I am extremely sad. It's as if I have gone down so deep, so far fetched that I cannot climb out of the pit anymore. It's felt as if I cannot go back to who I was yesterday. Sometimes when I get so depressed, I just sink into this deep sleep, wake up feeling like I lost my memory. Far too painful to be retrieved memory. Yet it has this characteristics of me being embraced. I feel so much. Some places and some nice memories and feelings just keep popping up, but I can only reach for them like the wind, sweeping through my fingers, slipping away as I watch it fades. Some people can only travel thus far. Nothing really lasts forever. I used to rely so much on people and etc... and now they just leave me one by one. Actually, I don't really know how I can carry on... this life just takes me by surprise. Even tears can't express how I'm feeling inside. All these changes are so big that I don't even know how to meet them. God, I'm so scared. Can you help me find myself back? I don't know where to start or end, it's so ... out of touch. I feel my soul getting detached from my body. The people that used to make me happy ain't there anymore. I feel like I'm going through a lot that I cannot understand.
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