Thursday, January 12, 2012

Page 12 of 366: 3rd Day Of School

@$^%*$^#$$#$!$---> These are the first thing that came out of my mind when I step out from the mrt, when I arrived at Kent Ridge. 
$%^%*^%*@%$!%@$%$!#^%#&%^*%^----> These are the first thing that came out of my mind when I step out of Kent Ridge Mrt. 
$%()&%($#^(%$*$_(&*_)(*##)_*%&#(&(%&&$(_#*(#---> These are the first thing that came out of my mind when I'm squeezing into my A Bus.
*$)*#%)&#$^(T(_%$^(_#&_(#@&_(@&(_$&#_(&_(&@#%_(&#$_^---> These are the first thing that came out of my mind when I reached FASS.
@$*@#)*)!&%&!&(&$#_%_@^%*_!$%_(!&(_&_(&_&#_!^@^$*!@&$~@&$#_(&---> These are the thing that came out of my mind when I'm in the lecture. 
When life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
As an old saying goes, 
When life gives you lemon, add vodka. 

Trust me, you don't want to lose your sanity.

I just summarized my 3 day in school! There's no words to describe this agony and prolonged melancholy feeling I have within me when I come to school. I know I'm acting like a 3 year old kid, who refuses to go to nursery. I understand that. Trust me, when you have a taste of how university life is like... you would never want to go back. The only thing I take off is the flexible timetable, which means I can go home at 2 to have my afternoon nap, just like when I was in secondary school. Worst take off: Competition, High Stress Level, Loneliness, Bell Curve. Bell curve is a second satan to me. Your energy is easily strained within like 2 days of school... All around you are really friends which you most probably won't see a few years later. Well, I guess that's life. Kids, do treasure your primary, secondary, jc friends. You never know when your friend will turn your back on you. It's not hard to find friends, but you need to step out of your comfort zone, to embrace the differences. After all, university is about independence. 

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Fix You.

                 
When you try your best but you don't succeed 

When you get what you want but not what you need 
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep 
Stuck in reverse 



And the tears come streaming down your face 
When you lose something you can't replace 
When you love someone but it goes to waste 
Could it be worse? 



Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 
And I will try to fix you 



And high up above or down below 
When you're too in love to let it go 
But if you never try you'll never know 
Just what you're worth 



Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 
And I will try to fix you 



Tears stream down your face 
When you lose something you cannot replace 
Tears stream down your face 
And I 



Tears stream down your face 
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes 
Tears stream down your face 



And I 
Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 


And I will try to fix you


Monday, January 2, 2012

Page 3 of 366

Are my days going to waste? Day 3 of 366, yet I'm still at home... doing nothing! 


God, I'm feeling so stressed about my CORS bidding! It feels like I'm being left alone all by myself, to face the new environment, lecture, and everything! :( I'm once again, afraid to step out of my comfort zone! I don't know why! I'm scared to face everything alone. I'm afraid to go into lectures, feeling lonely! #foreveralone Why am I reacting like this? I use to be that brave girl who went to TS lecture alone, but I lied! In fact, I hate the fact that I need to go lecture, feeling so insecure, with the fear that I might sit alone! That's why I skipped so many lectures! Well, we do have to face all these troubles alone. 

Where's the courageous girl I used to see?
Praying that the NUS cell would bring me a better lives, and of course to live in a community! Afterall, I love being in His Love, and His community! :) 


Friday, December 30, 2011

301211 Don't ever Look Back, Don't ever Look Back.

Well, don't look back Shu Ting. Look forward! Let's move on to 2012, what the rest of the world have been waiting for. 2012 seemed like a significant year because anonymous, or rather the Maya Calender, predicted that we will all die in 2012. It felt like we could never go pass the 2012 mark, and reach 2013. 

Reflections Upon 2011: Year of Transitions

The cell group had a hearty time of sharing, and even agree that we all went through a year of transitions. Few of us going into different tertiary or institutions, and university(which is me). Transitions is really hard. It represents a change, and a change requires determination, acceptance, and even a bigger courage to step out of usual comfort zone to embrace a new environment despite unwillingness. I think this step of faith is not easy, and especially to trust in God to put in the right friends, right modules to take, right results and etc... However, we all managed to achieve something, or at least tide through it all, ain't we? 
Coming back to myself, this year, I wouldn't label it as unfruitful! I think everything has it ups and downs. 

Firstly, I took up a job. Decent job. Worked at EIPIC! It wasn't easy initially. I'm not really a very children person... I think children also need time to open up! However, after a few weeks, when I managed to remember the names of the children, and gain a deeper understanding of their likes, dislikes, and personality, they are really fun loving children. I even had a different perspective of these children! :D What I learnt is really precious. Even though I might not become a real teacher, but I'm truly grateful to the Lord for presenting me such a learning opportunity to be exposed to something I've always been interested in. 

Secondly, University. A level results was unexpected! I mean I didn't even think of any university, any courses. All my mind was BLANK. Therefore, I made a rush decision to go to NUS. Can't even describe how much I hate this place. It's old, run-down buildings are really a turn off. When a storm happens, I always thought it's going to tear down the whole place! No Joke! I guess it was a disappointment to myself that I didn't join any camps nor cca. God's plan, maybe? But it's always nice knowing a few friends! Seriously, all the people I met are really lovely, and nice. Most importantly, most of them are like Christians, which am really glad and thankful about! Overall, my experience in NUS is 0.5/10! This is how bad it is! What I'm thankful is at least my TS module, in which I got to meet new friends! Furthermore, my GPA sucks. So there's nothing to look forward to in my university. Plus, I'm not even staying in hostel, which majority of NUS students don't! No worries about it. 

Thirdly, important roles in Church. I took up TYA this year, and even though I MIA for weeks and months kind, but I still managed to join Survivor Camp, Sports Day, Family Tour, Volunteers Appreciation Dinner. Looking back, it's really quite a lot of things going on... ! I knew so many more friends in church, which well, is one of the things I asked God about! One of the many thanksgivings! :) I hope that I'm indeed a blessing to all these children, and I pray that some day, all of them will give their life to the Lord, and further enhanced His kingdom! 

Fourth, overseas trip of my best friend! Impromptu, and we spent less than 24 hours overseas, and took a plane back again! It's a wrong but crazy decision! Really thank God that the place was filled with His presence! Like majority of the people there are actually Christians, and I feel so peaceful to see churches everywhere! Let's continue to bless and pray for the place! :) Our friendship has plenty of ups and downs, but so thankful we are still best friends! I guess it's always not easy to maintain friendship... but thanks for the effort, and even times, trying to cheer me. 





Fifth, still single. 

Sixth, can't really remember. 

Thank the Lord for all that He has given to me! :) Really grateful for His grace and mercy in my life! Without Him, I am nothing! Yes Lord, I'm alive in You!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

TYA FAMILY TOUR! @ DESARU!

1st Day:

Family Tour tour to Fruit Farm, & all the lame lame stuffs! But we did had fun exploring the hotels, and getting Gaga over the Hotel room. Hence, explaining the results of our hotel poses! Hahaha! *thanks to Song Yang, photographer* 
2nd Day: 
Had fun with the retro night, and all the beach activities! Captain's Ball as usual! :) The beach was awesome! If given a chance, would have gone down to play para-sailing!!! Nonetheless, it was a fun-filled evening! Danced to the retro music, and even saw eclipse! :) Though it was only for awhile... I got bored after it! But yay, it was a good experience though being able to be together with each other as a family! In the night, we watched a movie, and I fell asleep... soooo tired! 
3rd Day:
End of the trip! :) We manage to ate at Kenny Rogers together! Feels like a XMAS lunch though! :) It was good company! And Yay, TYA! :) 


Junyi+Haiwei! LOLOLOL BFF.









 Fail Jumpshots.









http://newworldastrology.blogspot.com/2011/07/cancer-solar-eclipse-jul-1.html


RETRO NIGHT 4 THE WIN! :)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

12/12/2011 Look At The Stars, Look How They Shine For You

What's the most awesome part about life? Being by the sea! Awesome!
Just came back from my Malaysia TYA Family Tour 2011! Well, I didn't really think much of the trip, and even packed my bag like 5 hours before the trip! Honestly, I went to the trip because I was really guilty of not attending TYA so regularly as I should since it is a commitment I first took up! However, this trip turns out to be surprisingly fun! Thanks to all the crazy people in church! They are so funny, & awesome! Indeed, it was a great time spent in the family of God! So many things happened within the short 3 days 2 nights, it all past so fast. I wished we could go back... ! I shall update this blog asap! ( pretending there's readers out there! )

Well, there's still some trips yet undone!
1) Marina Barrage!
2) TYA! :DDD
3) Xmas Exploration with @SINREN
4) Batam Service Learning Trip! :)

Let's look forward to the season of Love! <3

Thursday, December 8, 2011

5.6/12/2011 Cause this city is my city And I love it, yeah I love it

First NUS clique outing, which well turns out that 1/3 of the group is in the same secondary school as me, and the other 1/3 is in the same junior college as me, and the other 1/3 is me. #FML
Well, we were kinda stuck in town!
 So yeah, manage to catch a movie, walked around town. 
End of Story.

6/12/2011
Went out with YPS girls to sing at Teo Heng. 
End of Story.

7/12/2011 Marina Barrage!














 Nice catchup with the two of them! <3 Ermmmm though half the time it was awkward talking about relationship stuff, and well... Hmmm... hahaha! Nice to see y'all! :D 



4/12/2011 All the other kids with the pumped up kicks




Just a simple Sunday with Sinren spent at MBS. 

Monday, December 5, 2011

06/12/2011 December, How Are You?





Preview of upcoming post!  


Well, December is already 1 week into it's ending! There's so much to do, yet so little time! I pray that the Batam service trip would be meaningful! Nothing seemed to get into place, and I'm starting to worry a little, given the time frame and how would the teenagers manage the whole event! Well, only thing I can do now is to pray I guess! Well, time seemed to past faster during holidays! I'm impressed, & shocked at how I could actually fill my calender with events! But I do love the feeling that it's actually filled, and I'm constantly and enthusiastically keeping myself busy. It's a good way to occupy myself, so I would not even have extra time to ponder about smaller issues in my life. Well, smaller issues eventually have to be solved, because they will snowball to become bigger, larger, disturbing issues.

Another larger issue-Choosing Modules for next semester!
It's giving me a huge headache! Honestly, what should I choose? Really got no damn idea which to major in, it's killing me plenty plenty! Well, is it a matter of results & pride? Certainly yes and no. But to me, I've always tell myself that we need to embrace life but choosing what we love, so that if it gets tough and hard and all the crap comes in, you have that passion and love to tide through. Plus, it's a choice YOU'VE MADE. No qualms and fights about your mother forcing a gun down your throat to choose a major. Wow, if I can say that, I'd better be choosing something I like then!

Don't want to lie. For some reasons, I hate cell group. :( Maybe devil's planting wrong thoughts into me, but seriously!?! Don't even feel the love, and people don't even bother to come for cell group. I understand how R.H feeling now. I will try to make it for cell next time, no matter what. With this weak ties, I really don't know how to continue on... I mean what am I suppose to do? Of course, my best wishes are for everyone to come, but well we can't tie a string to them, no right? Sometimes, I just have thoughts of changing my cell group, thinking I might even benefit from another cell but, God, am I right to think this way? Or should I stay here, trying my best to fix the pieces? Don't want to rebuke, scold or whatever any more, because people only think I am trying to act righteous or what. My point is, if people don't tell, they will never understand how other people feel right! I believe every of our actions directly, or indirectly affects people in the cell group! It's really tough keeping up, but I'm yes, trying my best. If it's best for me to leave, I don't mind leaving... On a side note, I think your actions are making me sick and uncomfortable! We've been trying hard to tolerate, and tolerate but if you keep on doing that, it doesn't help at all. Well, I guess it's a good break for me to break free from everything, and try to calm down within these few days! Hopefully, it will all be better when R.H comes back.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

1/12/2011 One day when the sky is falling, I'll be standing right next to you.





Hello Best Friend


     I hope it was a well spent time within the two of us today! As we start of our holidays, I hope it would be a fruitful time for the both of us. Pray that there would be more opportunity for us to come together and treasure the times we have! Even it's upsetting that we cannot meet as much as before like when we were schooling, but I hope that this holiday will be a time for both of us to catchup, and be open! :) Every single time, when we meet up after a looooooong time for not meeting, I'm so afraid it would be awkward between us, and even topic-less. Even though it's sometimes, the same stuff, but well, it's always fun. I guess, it's just innate! :)   
                                                                                                                     Love, Best Friend