26/04/2014 ... 寻找ing

Soon... I'll be graduating. I'm getting mixed feelings about it. Every decision come with a price and consequence. And I guess, I'll have to swallow that. It feels kind of empty deep down without going church. Honestly, I've already forgotten why I stopped going. Probably is that guilt, sins, inadequacy that stops me from doing so. I guess shit happens. Honestly, it feels kind of sucks that things ain't doing well for me... like all along. I wonder about my presence. Maybe if I put in a lil' more faith in myself and had more confidence about what I am doing. I'm at a cross road... Should I go back or should I find a new church? This would meant starting all over again and having to get used to a whole load of things. Going back would meant that I would have to explain for all my actions, and things would probably never be the same again. What would people think of me?... I'm just being myself and this needs to change. Not the first time I'm leaving. Such a bad habit. It's as equally as uncertain. I should probably start praying and ask God for directions. Felt as though I'm abandoned.