I don't know why I'm so stressed up over all these. I feel like I'm gonna break down over such a small lil stuff. I could just walk away & pretend nothing happened but precisely, something happened.
Am I the only one who hates hates hates camp? Not trying to be bad or what but the high amount of getting-to-know-you part is too much for me to take it. I hate repeating mundane crap like oh yeah I like this and I hate that and blah blah blah. I know all these requires time & all but it's simply too tiring.
I'm starting to feel worn out & left out from church. It seemed so lonely & I just don't feel any community love at all. This Xmas is just really I feel it's all empty. No joy, no peace, no love.
I'm suppose to love but I cannot. It been so long... And I feel like I can't be remembered. There wasn't even a time when I felt truly happy being with people except a few special ones.
I don't like forcing myself to be happy when I'm not. I don't even know why because I'm not usually like that. And I hate how everyone got this wrong impression of me. Tried tried to mix in but to me it's just so hard to fulfill. Am I trying hard to be liked by people? Is even remembering my name that hard? Not asking for more but it's really sad. Me myself trying my best but it don't succeed.
Don't even know why I'm bothered over this. Headache. 1.43 AM.
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