23/07/2012 Coming To a Start or an End

My holidays are about to end. Frankly, this is the utter most fruitlessness month. I'm constantly lazing around like a couch potato. It's getting bored & meaningless. Every now and then, I remind myself to be happy. I really don't want all these time to pass like that. I'm so weak in my spirit. If it's all in the thought, I am going to change it. I am going to make it change. It has been some time since I let it all out. I have been upset about how lifeless my uni life is going to get. It's a constant downhill for me. I struggled so hard in year 1. I honestly can't wait for it to end. :( I feel exceptionally sad that I'm missing out on all these, and I have no idea why! Everyone seemed to be doing well except me? Is there something wrong with me? I really need to change. Or maybe I was meant to be like this? I am clueless. Actually I feel super disappointed that I did not participate in any camps. Not that I am a total camp-lover or what... but it felt like a missing part of uni life, no? Taking the fact that I am such a clueless person... who missed out all dates, and forgot to submit my financial forms and etc... administration crap. I really have no idea what is happening around campus, all I know is Central Library is a great hideout to avoid crowds. I didn't know what to expect from university! Nobody told me anything! I didn't know staying in hall was a great thing to do(or maybe not.) I honestly wonder how it feels to be enthusiastic in all these crappy stuff which people label as fun. Suddenly, ignorance doesn't seemed great anymore. Forget it. University is just crap. 

We cannot take away what doesn't belong to us.